Delivered From All My Fears

In 1985 I went to the LDS temple for the first time to receive my endowments and to be married. I had taken seminary in High School. I had graduated from LDS owned Rick’s College. I had diligently read the Standard Works and Church Magazines. I had encouraged everyone I dated to go on a mission. I was intending on marrying a returned missionary. I thought I was worthy and prepared to go to the temple. I had waited my whole life for this day.

When I entered the temple I was taken into the dressing room. I was told to undress and put on a “poncho like” covering that was open on the sides. I was then taken into a booth where a woman temple worker touched my body with cold water and oil and said I would be a priestess to my husband. In the next room women sat on one side of the room and men on the other. The room had no windows. I had layers of clothes on and I felt claustrophobic. I tried to listen as a monotone voice told a creation story. As the drama continued they mocked Christian clergy and the Christian faith. I was shocked because I thought we were supposed to be tolerant of other beliefs. As I continued I was shown a special handclasp and told to bring my thumb under my throat and swear that my life could be taken if I ever revealed it. I looked around to see if everyone else was OK with this. I started wishing I could run away. I couldn’t believe this was all real. After doing the Five Points of Fellowship at the Veil with my intended I was passed through the veil. I was left wondering where is the rest of it? I was hoping to learn about God. I didn’t learn anything new. I felt more in darkness and confusion than ever before.

Over the years I became more disillusioned with religion, dreading Sundays. I tried to find excuses to stay home. I began to hate the LDS Church. They had deceived me. My sister told me being an anti-Mormon wasn’t the way to go. I needed to find something to believe in. Thirteen years after attending the temple I decided to attend a Presbyterian Church. I had heard that Joseph Smith’s family were once a members of that church.

I was scared, I had no idea how Christians worshipped. I had always thought they were inferior because I was extra valiant in the pre-existence. I had been able to choose an LDS family and the only true church. I latter learned the spiritual did not come first but the natural or physical and after that the spiritual. (I Cor. 15: 46.)

What I had been told about Christians was that they were good people but Mormons just had extra knowledge. But I soon found out that they knew so much more about spiritual matters than I did. I really knew nothing of God’s Word. My eyes began to open and I was starved for God’s Word, like I had been on an endless fast.

At first I was afraid of the crosses and coffee. I learned the cross represents God’s gift to salvation and our hope is in the Lord not in abstinence of coffee. I was afraid of ministers. I had been told they were greedy and proud. Instead I found they were unselfish Godly men I could trust to teach God’s word and give me sound caring advice. I thought the minister would demand tithes but I found their tithes are voluntary not like in the Mormon Church where I was taken into the Bishops office and told that since we were not paying the exact 10% offering it would not be considered a full tithe and we would not be able to count it towards our worthiness to attend the temple. As if I wanted to go there anymore anyway.

On one occasion while serving as a Mutual Advisor, our leader came from a meeting she had just had with the Bishopric holding a list of personal information about each of the girls in Mutual. This both scared and bothered us.

I began to wear my garments less and less. I always hated them. I wore them around my mother and other Mormons. I’m glad to be rid of them. I am now clothed in the garment of salvation given to me by my Lord.

My husband is confused and can’t understand why I left the church. Our marriage is stressed. His Bishop told him to pray and do what he feels best. I was afraid that when I left the Mormon Church I would become a bad person and start doing all kinds of evil things. Instead I became more aware of my sins and my need and desire for a savior and his salvation. I like what C. S. Lewis has said about accepting Christ. “Feelings of infinite relief of having once got rid of all the silly nonsense about your own dignity which made you restless and unhappy all your life.”

When my parents found out I was attending a Christian church they were angry. My mother tried to stop me from taking my children to Bible School. On one occasion my dad and mother came to my house at midnight and told me they would do everything in their power to keep my children Mormons. They told me I left because I was lazy and didn’t want to keep all the Mormon laws. My dad said millions of Mormons believe in Mormonism. I told him I must be one in a million who doesn’t.

I was afraid of loosing all my friends and extended family, but I have gained a relationship with God and a place in the family of believers. My Christian friends like me unconditionally and I am no longer scolded for asking questions like I was in the Mormon Church. I hope that my friends and family will see the peace that I have in Christ. It is for freedom that Christ has set us free, stand firm, then and do not let yourself be burdened again by the yoke of slavery.

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure it enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain where Jesus who went before us, entered on our behalf. Hebrews 6: 19,20.

Thomas Jefferson said, “People cannot be safe without information. Where the press is free and every man is able to read, then all is safe.”

What I believe now

I believe in God the Father, almighty maker of heaven and earth. Isa. 44:24; Psalms 33:6; Neh. 9:6; Mal. 2:10; I Chron. 16:26. And in Jesus Christ, his son, our Lord who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born or the virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried; and on the third day he rose from the dead, ascended into heaven, and is seated on the right hand of God, the Father almighty, whence he shall come to judge the living and the dead. John 1:1-3, 9-14; 8:56-58; 10:17,18; 14:7-11; 17:5; 20:31; Exodus 3:14; Matt.1:20,21; Like 1:35; I Peter 2:22; II Cor. 5:21; I John 3:5; Acts 2:27, 10:42-43; 13:35-37, Col. 1:20, 2:14.

I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Holy Christian church, the communion of saints, forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting. I Cor. 12:3, 12:12-14; 15:1-14; Eph 2:1-9, 22, 23; Heb. 9:22; Matt. 16:18; 18:19-20; 26:28; Romans 4:25; 5:1; 6:3-6; 8:14-17 Titus 3:5-6; Rev. 5:9; I John 5:12-13; John 5:24; 2 Tim. 1:10; I Thess. 5:9-10.

I believe the Bible to be divine in origin. 2 Tim. 3:16; 2 Peter 1:21; Amos 3:8. Reliable in preservation, in accuracy, complete, unique, confirmed. Eph 2:20; 2 Cor. 12:12; Isa. 40:8; Matt. 24;35; Luke 16:17; John 12:48; 21:24-25; Matt. 16:18; Rev. 22:18.

These creeds are based solely on the Bible.

I know that Joseph Smith is a false prophet. He claimed a vision that all Christian sects were wrong and their creeds abominations. (Joseph Smith 2:18-20). Because of this, I believe the Mormon Church is false. 2 Cor. 11:4, 13, 14.

Mormon scripture claims, “…the idea that the father and son dwell in a man’s heart is an old sectarian notion and is false.” (D&C 130:3.) But I believe that Christ dwells in my heart. Eph 2:22; 3:17.